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Thursdsay, August 20, 1998. No. 131

Letters

p. 6.

The Last Word

Having been called a few harsh names in your paper (Stuart Blackley's letter, Soft Headed Thinking: Issue 130, Aug 6) based on misquotes and, and I think, misinterpretations of my letter about Brent Ingram's Public Sex article, I sincerely hope that you will allow me to reply. My letter did not equate public "making out" with dishonesty or cruelty. It stated my feeling that I had learned from my relationships (this being inclusive of all my relationships, longer term or momentary, sexual or fraternal) that when I show myself and others love and kindness, I increase my liberty, and when I am cruel and dishonest, I trap myself. I mean that, in my experience, a good ethical yardstick is love and kindness rather than frequency or longevity.

I did mean to communicate in my letter that I do not like being called names because I now prefer longer term relationships (I have never been in a monogamous relationship). Sure we can stand around calling one another homophobes as evidenced in either self-righteous judgementalism or iniquitous sluttiness, but what good does it do?

Stuart, the fact that I do not choose at this tmie to go to orgies does not make me an ungaytriotic fundamentalist. It makes me gay and proud. If you were arrested for being at an orgy, I'd be in the street in a second shouting with a picket sign and contributing to your defense fund. I hope that you would fight for my right to marry my partner if I so chose.

Lyle Jones
Vancouver, BC

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