Anticipated Evidence

My initial contact with Brian Whitehead and all of the subsequent events have left me terrified and with no faith, in fact a fear of police officers.

On the first night when he picked me up I was very concerned as I didn't know what was going to happen. I felt he was not playing with a full deck. I knew he was a police officer and police officers have guns, this terrified me even more.

We ended up at my home during my first contact with him. Later that night I pretended I was sick and he left my home. I went out to another part of the city and he picked me up again. Following that contact he started calling me at home. This really terrified me, I felt I was a hostage in my own home. He knew my name, where I lived and my phone number. I felt my apartment was invaded by his presence.

From that first contact until he was caught by Internal Affairs my whole life was consumed by him or his presence, not knowing when he would call or show up.

By the time he was caught, which was over two weeks after the initial contact, I was exhausted. My whole life had been turned upside down. I very much resent the fact that he used his power and position to manipulate me and make me feel exploited.

While the investigation was ongoing I had to take valium to relieve the stress. This was prescribed for me by a psychiatrist who I am seeing on an ongoing basis.

The long term effects of this situation on me are:

I am afraid of all police officers, to the point where last summer I saw someone stealing a bicycle but I couldn't report it because I didn't know if it would be him or someone like him who would come to take the report.

I resent the fact he is still walking around with a badge.

"I think the system failed me and protected him and made me a victim all over again. It said what he did really wasn't that bad". It has hardened me and made me feel very bitter.

I have an ongoing fear that there may be some further contact or retribution by him.

The ongoing nature of this has also caused me difficulty because each time something happens it brings it to the forefront of my mind.

I just want it over so I can try and get on with my life.

The entire situation has also impacted on me financially and in my employment.

I have incurred legal costs for a lawyer, Peter Maloney, as well as cost for a therapist which was not covered by OHIP. In addition to this it has been necessary to take time off work to attend these appointments. Certainly my performance at work has been impacted by the backlog of work that has built up and the fact that I would have to lie and say I was sick rather than expose what happened to me.

As I said before, I have become very bitter and disillusioned and had I known what would happen I would never have reported it. I have paid too high a price for all that he got.